Acceptance

In Byron Katie's insightful book, "Loving What Is--Four Questions That Can Change Your Life,” Katie outlines some excellent advice about the virtue of acceptance, or the practice of allowing current circumstances to be as they are without a lot of fuss.  In the Christian faith we have an excellent role model in Jesus for acceptance.  When he was falsely accused, beaten, tortured, sentenced to death, and crucified, Jesus accepted those circumstances. He called out from the cross, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).

As individuals we often struggle with acceptance.  We feel we must bend the universe to our will and when the universe does not comply, we become distressed.  As parents, we are often troubled when our children do not act as we believe they should; or we are compelled to offer correction without first accepting.

One of the most pernicious manifestations of non-acceptance is the resistance to aging and death.  It would appear that the arrow of time points in one direction and our existence on earth is of limited duration.  Our bodies age and then they fail.  We are unaware of any person who has not faced this destiny.  As the Borg say in Star Trek, “Resistance is futile.” Yet, resist many do. Multi-billion dollar industries subsist on this non-acceptance: face-lifts, nutritional supplements, Botox, breast implants, and hair color- just to name a few.

We can hear the uproar now:

“Shall I just let someone abuse me”?  No, walk away if you can.  Use force to stop the abuse, if necessary.

“I don’t like the cold, gray skies of the Northeast in winter.”  Well, move to a warmer climate, if you are able.

We are not suggesting that one must accept all circumstances as they unfold.  After all, some of those circumstances are of our own making, and as such, can be undone by our own actions.  We are often well served by taking a Stoic approach toward the world. It was described by Epictetus as a mental attitude whereby we are "Sick and yet happy; in peril and yet happy; dying and yet happy; in exile and happy; in disgrace and happy.”

When in doubt as to whether the correct course of action is acceptance or resistance, recitation of the Serenity Prayer often proves to be helpful:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.”