On Patience

”Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.”--Heraclitus

In the major religious traditions of the world (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism), there is universal acceptance that patience is a virtue.  However, as with so many behaviors or qualities of character we wish to strengthen, knowing what to do (or how to be) is the easy part.  Doing it (or being it), is often not so easy.

Perhaps I am fond of the Buddhist approach to patience as one of the six paramitas (or perfections on the bodhisattva path to enlightenment).  My attraction to this perspective is primarily because the Buddhist approach provides a method or process for “perfecting” the virtue through meditation and daily application, rather than just defining it or providing exhortations, parables, or metaphors about it.

That said, a definition here would be helpful to our understanding so that we may aim toward acquiring and perfecting this desirable quality. The essence of the virtue of patience is the strength of mind and heart that enables us to face the challenges and difficulties of life without losing our composure and inner tranquility. We practice the virtue by embracing adversity, insult, distress, and the offence of others with tolerance, free of resentment, irritation, emotional reactivity, or retaliation. We cultivate the ability to be loving and compassionate in the face of criticism, misunderstanding, or aggression.

The strengthened quality of patience in ourselves is not a forced suppression or denial of agitation or negative thoughts and feelings about our circumstances. Rather, it is a state of being where we maintain our inner peace, calmness, and equanimity under all circumstances--especially when we fall short or miss the mark. Certainly, change your circumstances if you can.  Accept them if you cannot.

In recognizing the virtue in another, it is often said that an individual “has the patience of Job.” The reference is to the Old Testament Book of Job, where Job is beset with disasters that take away all he has, including his family, his health, and his property. As he suffers, Job struggles to understand his situation and even curses the day he was born at one point.  However, he never loses faith as he patiently searches for the right path out of his calamities. In the end, Job’s health, family, and property are restored and he lives in harmony to a ripe old age.  A fine example of the virtue of patience in action.